December Marathon

Last year December, I spent my time watching movies. This year again, I am starting my movie marathon. I don't know how it'll go, but one thing I know for sure, I am in for an interesting December.

December Movie 1. Closer

It is amazing hoe life works. You spend three years of your life with someone and then one fine day your realize that you can't live with that person anymore. Every little thing about him irritates you now. Times when he used to be possessive about you before, you used be proud and now if he does the same, it suffocates you.

Love is the biggest of all commitments. Not only you promise to live with your life with just one person, but also a few restrictions becomes a part of what is called a relationship. It is easy, way easy to break the boundaries of this relationship. All you need to do is to take a simple step and say sorry. But if only, Love were such a simple thing.

The boy who lived, died today!

They say it was just a movie. May it was, but was it. The doors of Hogwads were closed forever. Now no one will call me a Muggle any more. Because magic entrapped itself, somewhere on the platform 9 3/4 at Kingcross station. For past ten years, I was carrying a wand with me, today they tell me, it is just a stick. Quidditch through ages, is banned for ages now. Every age has a fairy tale. Today they took from me, the last of my magical hope, now it is just a story which i once read, while I was a kid. I am not a kid anymore, because the boy who lived, died today. I will not name the-one-who-must-not-be-named because if not for him, I would have never known the magic i possess. I would have never known what is it to be a free elf. I would have never known me. Now no one will teach me how to pronounce "wingardium leviosa", because dictionary says, it's not a word. The room under the stairs is empty now, but i have all those memories, piece by piece in a box in my heart. I shall recite them again someday, till then, remember me!

पुराना सामान

अज कई सालों के बाद

उनका सामान जो खोला
कुछ चूडिया निकली,

टूटी सी
जो कभी हाथो में उनके
बजा करती थी
कुछ शंख थे,

सिप्पियाँ भी
बड़े शौक से
इक्कठा करती थी वो
जुराबे निकली थी ऊन की
सांझ ढले गीत गुनगुनाते हुए
अक्सर बुना करती थी वो
दवाइयों की खली बोतलों क बीच से
एक इतरदान मिला है
हलकी सी खुशबू बाकि है अभी भी
और रुक सी गयी है एक लम्हे में
कहने को बेजान है उनकी वो पुरानी घडी
कुछ पुराने ख़त मिले हैं
जिनमे उनके दिन भर का बियोरा है

कुछ गम लिखा है, कुछ यादें भी

और कुछ हसी अभी भी बाकि है
उनकी धुंधली तस्वीरो में
बिक रही हैं उनकी वो यादें आज
कौड़ियो के मोल
कहते हैं पुराना सामान है

किसी काम का नहीं

To my family and the words, said-unsaid which still lingers in the age old air of a heritage.

The Voyage and Back

Theories, they are the new me. Making sense out of chaos, is my contribution to myself. Well my latest theory says:-

THOUGH ATHEISM IS THE TRUTH, BUT WORLD IS NOT AN EASY PLACE FOR AN ATHEIST TO LIVE.

The first part of the statement might not raise many questions, because this statement is under debate for centuries now and somewhere deep down we know it's true. But still most of us like to go against it, reason being the second part of the statement.
Life is an indefinite loop of monotony, if we see it from a human prospective, I wake up in the morning, do regular work, go back to sleep at night. All these new inventions and discoveries we have introduced lately, are just to break this monotony. Now if I am religious, then i would see this whole life as a stage play, where i have to play a part somewhere in the climax (Climax being the ultimate motive of my life, one thing for which i was born and other usual blahs) and till that happens I have to prepare myself for this unknown situation in the best possible way. It's like God wants me to do an impromptu act with the best of my abilities. So whenever some good or bad occasion happens, these are the God's way to tell me if I am going in sink with or against the plan which God has already thought of as his great climax.
There is a big flaw in the making of a human, they are given brains, thats why it is important for us to look for logic in everything. A religious human obtains his logic in the slight variation of above explained scenario. But in case of Atheism logic gives a grotesque view of life. Consider, there is no God and I being a human is doing same thing everyday. I have no idea till when i'll be continuing this whole routine. It might happen that the very next moment is the last one of my life. I realize that nothing is in my control. There is no purpose what so ever of my being except that while i lived i made few other lives ( who again doesn't have any aim just like me ), happy. But if I am so cynical about this whole God thinggy, then just making others happy is not good enough a reason for me. I have seen sea and mountain once, doesn't they all look same after a point of time. I have read a few stories, doesn't most of them ends in similar manner? What if I don't know how to play flute or violin, what difference would it make even if i knew them. I am going to die one day, just like billions of other who are living in same age as I. Even if I live as a Good or Bad person, on both the cases, my end will be death. Even if I take right or wrong decision, it'll remain same. Even if I read all of philosophy, my life remains useless. Quite a depressing picture.
You might argue that I am being mean to Atheists. The religious human do nothing good then fighting for useless causes, themselves. Well, I can't agree more with you. But I find, most of the Atheists as cynics and sadists (I being one myself) just because they know the brutal reality and accept it. I am not saying there is anything wrong in it but just that life gets a bit difficult for them. Life of a religious human is rather easy. I being an Atheist myself once, have now decide to move back to the safe and secure life of religion ( Even though it is my personal God and it's my personal religion). I consider myself too timid a human to go against God's will. Though I truly respect Atheists, as they are those who knows the trust have the courage to live it.

Just finished watching "Charlie St. Cloud" and I would like to finish by saying -
We got just one life,
TO BE WHO WE WANT TO BE,
TO BE WHO WE COULD BE.


Background music - Trains and winter rains (Enya) (link wasn't working, sorry)

Mind a Walk?

I always wanted to figure out this world I always love complexities because it gives me something to solve and world came across the biggest complexities of all. I could never infer what world as a whole is trying to do? Where we are heading? So i started searching history. The idea of democracy appealed to me, so i stick with it for a long time until I came across chaos. The Chaos Theory made my understanding of world even more complex and in the process of figuring out the purpose, I opted Nihilism and then the ultimate... Anarchy. This whole hopping from one philosophy to other might came across as a delusions of a confused mind but when I look back I find it rather logical evolution. Even now i can not say that I have figured this world out, but what I have totally accepted is the triviality of the whole system. It made me sad and purposeless.
Then I saw this movie... "Flipped". Pretty chick flick I must say, what from the movie stayed back with me was one thing which all of us have already came across millions of time over.
"It's about the bigger picture" It says, somethings are more when they less and others are less when they are more. If we see world as a whole, it is more of a dystopia than a fairy tale. It doesn't make much meaning. World is one thing which is more beautiful when is seen in parts.
We do the mistake of watching people trough the glasses of a different world. Watch them in their own world and you will know that their world has a purpose.
I do not want to tell them about the world, all I want is to know their world.

Last Day of the Month of Jan 2011

It's been a month now, so I guess a blog entry is a must. Watched 27 movies so far, not bad on that account but a zilch on book account, I don't like that fact much. My movie journey couldn't have been better as it started with Black Swan and the last film being 127 Hours. Man, it's something. On that you can't rule out the Romanticism of Matthew movies, they along with his lectures, make your day worthwhile. Almost like, I have justified my life in those few hours.
Nikita rightly put it, I could not comprehend, doesn't matter how hard I try, where exactly these day flew. That is the thing with time, you keep trying to make something out of it, complaining, you don't have much to do and it keep running out of your hand. Last day of the month already, and what a month it was.
Home, Placements, Chain.., Wins, Looses, all that and more. Mere two months of MICA is left and still it seems I haven't got enough of it yet. People have already start making plans of going home, already booked tickets and parents have already started planning for convocation and what not. I really don't mind time to pass at its own pace but what I do mind is my inability to go back and relive. I am missing the rewind button.
Then in one of the movies I saw recently someone quoted "What's with your generation and documentation of all your life?" I guess the movie was Easy A. I would say, it is something like The Tomb of Tutankhamen, our little effort in our own way to leave a little bit of ourself around for someone (majorly us) to read and relive who we were, wanted to be and became.